Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
