We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
