tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
