Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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