Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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