Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
