How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Even my vagina gasped.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
