Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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