ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I touched a dick in church today
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
