lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
