Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
