If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
