??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He better not be in your backpack
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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