so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you traded sex for a burrito?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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