It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
