Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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