Where is the hickey?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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