Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
