He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
