YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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