absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
