you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
