What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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