if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
