Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I had to cum in my sink.
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