Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
