soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
