there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
