What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
