make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
