don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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