i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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