well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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