apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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