sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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