my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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