every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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