it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
