I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
