No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
