I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
