She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
