This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
