i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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