I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
