Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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