Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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