before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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