Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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