I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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