he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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