How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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